Over the years that I have written this blog there have been posts about things the kids say. Silly phrases, scenes, or just words. Yeah. Those kids are hilarious. I'm glad that I took the time to write some of that stuff down - because it is true...time passes and you do not remember everything.
However, over the years I have uttered words that I never thought I would...and looking back on them, I find them equally funny (and definitely more disturbing). Here is a list of phrases that I've said just THIS YEAR. Let that sink in. JUST THIS YEAR. It's only 2014. The kids are 12, 11, 7, and 4 (almost 8 and 5).
Without further ado...:
Someone wrote their name all over the sunporch walls. I'm not going to say who did it, but the letters are VIOLET.
You are no longer allowed to pee on your own. If you have to pee, come get me. I'm supervising.
So, you won't wear underwear but you like to wear socks with sandals?
No. The dogs do NOT need hairspray.
Why is there only one can of fresca left? I just bought a 12 pack YESTERDAY.
You're right. Nailed it. I'm the meanest mom on the block.
I'm thinking of negotiating a trade: 4 year old for 1 riding lawn mower.
I am IN THE BATHROOM. Surely, you can wait to have me sign your assignment notebook.
Who's screaming? Who's hurt? Are you guys okay? Seriously, you were screaming like that over who gets the remote. Holy Cats you guys! I thought someone had murdered the pants off of you!
I. Just. Can't.
Who's idea was it to have 4 kids?
Snack!? SNACK!? You JUST ATE. Like. Not. Even. 5. Minutes. Ago!
I'm just going to sit here and stare at you. There are no words.
No one wants to see that.
I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at my life.
People keep telling me that I'll miss these years, and I keep wanting to kick those people in the teeth.
Yes, I'm 12 years younger than your dad. No, that doesn't mean you can date a guy 12 years older than you. Use me as an example of what NOT to do.
I'm just asking for the chance to sleep, just one night, without someone waking me up. It's not much to request.
No, I cannot sign your assignment notebook. I am IN THE SHOWER. I typically don't carry a pen in here, but if this is going to be an issue....I could start.
So, you're not afraid of: falling, heights, doing flips, skinning your knees, roller skating...but this tiny little gnat has paralyzed you?
WHAT DID YOU EAT!?
If you clog the toilet, could you at least plunge it? I mean. Really?
We've done this before. This same thing. I thought you learned LAST TIME. Go get in the tub.
All I ask, is to be able to vacuum these floors ONCE a day. Not three times. Just once. COME ON YOU GUYS!
Will the person who left the roller skate on the stairs, please come to the basement...where you will find a very unhappy, and slightly bruised, mother.
I DO like how you cut your barbie's hair. And NO, I don't want mine to look like that too. Now. Where'd you put those scissors?
You put deodorant on? Seriously. You're going to go with that? For Real? Because I'm pretty sure you smell like death. Is it a new scent? Road Kill deodorant? Oh yeah? Ok. Well, it's working then.
I've listened to your plea. And I have to tell you, it's inventive. I'll give you points for being creative. Extra points for the drama. However, my answer is still NO. Carry on. Try harder next time.
I've thrown all of your underwear away. I can't even wash it. Yep. I just said that.
Wow. It's quiet in here. What's going on?
Yes. You can have a water war. No. You can't have it inside.
How am I going to survive the summer?
However, over the years I have uttered words that I never thought I would...and looking back on them, I find them equally funny (and definitely more disturbing). Here is a list of phrases that I've said just THIS YEAR. Let that sink in. JUST THIS YEAR. It's only 2014. The kids are 12, 11, 7, and 4 (almost 8 and 5).
Without further ado...:
Someone wrote their name all over the sunporch walls. I'm not going to say who did it, but the letters are VIOLET.
You are no longer allowed to pee on your own. If you have to pee, come get me. I'm supervising.
So, you won't wear underwear but you like to wear socks with sandals?
No. The dogs do NOT need hairspray.
Why is there only one can of fresca left? I just bought a 12 pack YESTERDAY.
You're right. Nailed it. I'm the meanest mom on the block.
I'm thinking of negotiating a trade: 4 year old for 1 riding lawn mower.
I am IN THE BATHROOM. Surely, you can wait to have me sign your assignment notebook.
Who's screaming? Who's hurt? Are you guys okay? Seriously, you were screaming like that over who gets the remote. Holy Cats you guys! I thought someone had murdered the pants off of you!
I. Just. Can't.
Who's idea was it to have 4 kids?
Snack!? SNACK!? You JUST ATE. Like. Not. Even. 5. Minutes. Ago!
I'm just going to sit here and stare at you. There are no words.
No one wants to see that.
I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at my life.
People keep telling me that I'll miss these years, and I keep wanting to kick those people in the teeth.
Yes, I'm 12 years younger than your dad. No, that doesn't mean you can date a guy 12 years older than you. Use me as an example of what NOT to do.
I'm just asking for the chance to sleep, just one night, without someone waking me up. It's not much to request.
No, I cannot sign your assignment notebook. I am IN THE SHOWER. I typically don't carry a pen in here, but if this is going to be an issue....I could start.
So, you're not afraid of: falling, heights, doing flips, skinning your knees, roller skating...but this tiny little gnat has paralyzed you?
WHAT DID YOU EAT!?
If you clog the toilet, could you at least plunge it? I mean. Really?
We've done this before. This same thing. I thought you learned LAST TIME. Go get in the tub.
All I ask, is to be able to vacuum these floors ONCE a day. Not three times. Just once. COME ON YOU GUYS!
Will the person who left the roller skate on the stairs, please come to the basement...where you will find a very unhappy, and slightly bruised, mother.
I DO like how you cut your barbie's hair. And NO, I don't want mine to look like that too. Now. Where'd you put those scissors?
You put deodorant on? Seriously. You're going to go with that? For Real? Because I'm pretty sure you smell like death. Is it a new scent? Road Kill deodorant? Oh yeah? Ok. Well, it's working then.
I've listened to your plea. And I have to tell you, it's inventive. I'll give you points for being creative. Extra points for the drama. However, my answer is still NO. Carry on. Try harder next time.
I've thrown all of your underwear away. I can't even wash it. Yep. I just said that.
Wow. It's quiet in here. What's going on?
Yes. You can have a water war. No. You can't have it inside.
How am I going to survive the summer?
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