So often people tell me that I need to write down the things my kids say, because they are so funny and almost unbelievable. Over the years I have amassed a notebook of hilarious things....here are a few:
James Henry : Mama, can you sleep with me tonight? Me: No, James I have to sleep with your daddy. James Henry: Oh, no. That's awful.
Wyatt: Mom is there something that you can drink that will make you fall asleep, and sleep hard all night long. Me: Yep, there sure is. Wyatt: Can you put it in a bottle? Me: Yep. Wyatt: Can I have some? Me: Not until you're 21 buddy.
James Henry: Mama Mama come quick! Me: What What? What's wrong!? James Henry: There's a spider in my room. Me: RUN! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! James Henry: I can't I have little bitty legs!
Maisy: I hate you! You're the worst mom ever! I wish you'd never been born.....can you make me a snack?
Wyatt (singing Lady GaGa): "Can't read me can't read my, no you can't read my pretty lace." Me: It's Poker Face, Wyatt. Wyatt: Really? Oh...well, I like pretty lace better. Me: OK
James Henry: Mama, when I grow up I be a farmer. Me: That's awesome! James Henry: You are going to drive my grain truck, I'm going to drive a combine, Daddy's gonna drive the auger cart. Me: What about Wyatt and Maisy. James Henry: Wyatt is lazy so he'll just sit and eat lemonade in the barn. Maisy will be too busy. Me: What will she be too busy doing? James Henry: I don't know. She always tells you she's too busy to clean her room. (man, he's right. I would like to know what she's so busy about as well)
Maisy: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. You're the meanest mom on the planet.....will you take me to the store and get me a treat?
Wyatt: Mom, can I have a snack? Me: Wyatt, you just ate dinner, and then a snack. Wyatt: But this is my after dinner snack-snack. Me: I think you can do without. Wyatt: Ok, but if I die of starvation in my sleep we know who to blame.
Me: James Henry! What in the world are you pushing with your tractor? James Henry: Dog Poop. Me: WHAT!!!???? James Henry: Don't worry mom, dad says it's ok....he said it's just fertilizer. Me: Ok, could you NOT fertilize my front porch steps? James Henry: Alright, but they won't grow.
Maisy: Mom, how did you meet dad? Me: At a softball game. Maisy: What were you doing there? Me: Playing. Maisy: Oh, so he felt sorry for you then.
Wyatt: Mom, can I marry you? Me: No, my little Oedipus you can't, I'm arleady married. Wyatt: Why did you go and do that? Me: Excellent question.
Wyatt: I'm not going to get married when I grow up. Me: What if you meet someone that you really love? Wyatt: Well, she will have to be better than a dog and cooler than TV. Then I'll think about it.
Maisy: I hate you! You are awful! Can I go to a friend's house?
I swear I have more...but I have housework to do. Oh the things they say. :)
James Henry : Mama, can you sleep with me tonight? Me: No, James I have to sleep with your daddy. James Henry: Oh, no. That's awful.
Wyatt: Mom is there something that you can drink that will make you fall asleep, and sleep hard all night long. Me: Yep, there sure is. Wyatt: Can you put it in a bottle? Me: Yep. Wyatt: Can I have some? Me: Not until you're 21 buddy.
James Henry: Mama Mama come quick! Me: What What? What's wrong!? James Henry: There's a spider in my room. Me: RUN! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! James Henry: I can't I have little bitty legs!
Maisy: I hate you! You're the worst mom ever! I wish you'd never been born.....can you make me a snack?
Wyatt (singing Lady GaGa): "Can't read me can't read my, no you can't read my pretty lace." Me: It's Poker Face, Wyatt. Wyatt: Really? Oh...well, I like pretty lace better. Me: OK
James Henry: Mama, when I grow up I be a farmer. Me: That's awesome! James Henry: You are going to drive my grain truck, I'm going to drive a combine, Daddy's gonna drive the auger cart. Me: What about Wyatt and Maisy. James Henry: Wyatt is lazy so he'll just sit and eat lemonade in the barn. Maisy will be too busy. Me: What will she be too busy doing? James Henry: I don't know. She always tells you she's too busy to clean her room. (man, he's right. I would like to know what she's so busy about as well)
Maisy: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. You're the meanest mom on the planet.....will you take me to the store and get me a treat?
Wyatt: Mom, can I have a snack? Me: Wyatt, you just ate dinner, and then a snack. Wyatt: But this is my after dinner snack-snack. Me: I think you can do without. Wyatt: Ok, but if I die of starvation in my sleep we know who to blame.
Me: James Henry! What in the world are you pushing with your tractor? James Henry: Dog Poop. Me: WHAT!!!???? James Henry: Don't worry mom, dad says it's ok....he said it's just fertilizer. Me: Ok, could you NOT fertilize my front porch steps? James Henry: Alright, but they won't grow.
Maisy: Mom, how did you meet dad? Me: At a softball game. Maisy: What were you doing there? Me: Playing. Maisy: Oh, so he felt sorry for you then.
Wyatt: Mom, can I marry you? Me: No, my little Oedipus you can't, I'm arleady married. Wyatt: Why did you go and do that? Me: Excellent question.
Wyatt: I'm not going to get married when I grow up. Me: What if you meet someone that you really love? Wyatt: Well, she will have to be better than a dog and cooler than TV. Then I'll think about it.
Maisy: I hate you! You are awful! Can I go to a friend's house?
I swear I have more...but I have housework to do. Oh the things they say. :)
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ReplyDeletei only remeoved my previous comment because i misspelled a word and not because of profanity. sorry to disappoint.
ReplyDeletenow, on to my comment. you may not assume the title of worst mother on the planet. that would be fraud. at best you would be third runner up. i inherited the title from my mother in 1976.