I wish I could type the into to Highway to Hell by AC/DC...but for some reason that awesome guitar riff doesn't translate right. Duh Duh Du, Duh Duh Du....Duh Duh Duh Du Duh Duh Du Du....just looks silly.
Anyway, that's what I mean. I have begun to think of car rides with my children as little trips that bring me one step closer to insanity and also Hades himself.
I don't know what it is but all I have to say is, "We are going to go on a ride real quick" and the kids start complaining. "I don't want to go", "I have stuff to do", "I need a snack" etc.,. So it is with much chagrin that I have to take them anywhere.
First of the second I open my door someone screams. I think I could honestly stand by my car door and open it/shut it/open it/ shut it to rhythmical screaming.
Secondly my son James is a car seat escape artist and also a TERRIBLE instigator. So before I even have keys in the ignition he's out of his car seat and either beating his big brother/sister or screaming at them because they possibly thought about touching something of his.
Once my butt actually touches car seat shit usually completely takes off. I start hearing Maisy and Wyatt giggling and acting silly and then one of them does something to start the other crying in wails of sorrow. Pure death sobs.
I turn around and say, "WHAT THE HELL!? We haven't even left the freakin driveway! Can't you guys me good." In which they look at me for about 2 second and then go back to doing what they were doing.
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I talked to another mom about this and she said that she now carries a Wooden spoon and threatens the kids with it.
I thought about trying this out but then remembered. Wooden spoons don't scare my children. They use them on each other and have perfected the "deflect spoon" move.
So, what can I do to keep them from doing this crap?
I have tried ignoring them (doesn't work and only leads to more chaos), I have tried screaming at them (doesn't work either and leaves me with a sore throat) and I have tried threatening them with punishments (which they don't seem to care about either because it's in the future and I might possibly forget about it).
Violet sits in her car seat and watches. She is so great in the car, she's either silently taking notes or she's appalled...I can't decide.
So, on our way to Gibson City tonight (in which fighting occurred non-stop and Chris grew an instant tumor) I thought of a new plan of attack.
I'm just going to pull over. I'm just going to pull over until they stop it.
So, on our way home from our journey the first fight that happened I slowed the van down, turned the hazards on and just sat there.
After 5 million "what are you doing" questions I turned around and said, "I'm sitting and planning our life. We are going to live here forever. IN this spot. IN this van. TOGETHER. IT WILL BE WONDERFUL"
They looked at each other completely freaked out and decided I'd lost my mind. They each said, "Um, Mom...we're sorry....we'll be good" and sat quietly. I waited about 3 minutes and then put it in drive and drove home.
Of course they started fighting the minute my hand hit my door handle....but it worked for a little bit.
So, I guess I just have to act crazy....shouldn't be too hard!!!
Anyway, that's what I mean. I have begun to think of car rides with my children as little trips that bring me one step closer to insanity and also Hades himself.
I don't know what it is but all I have to say is, "We are going to go on a ride real quick" and the kids start complaining. "I don't want to go", "I have stuff to do", "I need a snack" etc.,. So it is with much chagrin that I have to take them anywhere.
First of the second I open my door someone screams. I think I could honestly stand by my car door and open it/shut it/open it/ shut it to rhythmical screaming.
Secondly my son James is a car seat escape artist and also a TERRIBLE instigator. So before I even have keys in the ignition he's out of his car seat and either beating his big brother/sister or screaming at them because they possibly thought about touching something of his.
Once my butt actually touches car seat shit usually completely takes off. I start hearing Maisy and Wyatt giggling and acting silly and then one of them does something to start the other crying in wails of sorrow. Pure death sobs.
I turn around and say, "WHAT THE HELL!? We haven't even left the freakin driveway! Can't you guys me good." In which they look at me for about 2 second and then go back to doing what they were doing.
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I talked to another mom about this and she said that she now carries a Wooden spoon and threatens the kids with it.
I thought about trying this out but then remembered. Wooden spoons don't scare my children. They use them on each other and have perfected the "deflect spoon" move.
So, what can I do to keep them from doing this crap?
I have tried ignoring them (doesn't work and only leads to more chaos), I have tried screaming at them (doesn't work either and leaves me with a sore throat) and I have tried threatening them with punishments (which they don't seem to care about either because it's in the future and I might possibly forget about it).
Violet sits in her car seat and watches. She is so great in the car, she's either silently taking notes or she's appalled...I can't decide.
So, on our way to Gibson City tonight (in which fighting occurred non-stop and Chris grew an instant tumor) I thought of a new plan of attack.
I'm just going to pull over. I'm just going to pull over until they stop it.
So, on our way home from our journey the first fight that happened I slowed the van down, turned the hazards on and just sat there.
After 5 million "what are you doing" questions I turned around and said, "I'm sitting and planning our life. We are going to live here forever. IN this spot. IN this van. TOGETHER. IT WILL BE WONDERFUL"
They looked at each other completely freaked out and decided I'd lost my mind. They each said, "Um, Mom...we're sorry....we'll be good" and sat quietly. I waited about 3 minutes and then put it in drive and drove home.
Of course they started fighting the minute my hand hit my door handle....but it worked for a little bit.
So, I guess I just have to act crazy....shouldn't be too hard!!!
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