I think perhaps what I miss the most about being a person without children would be the entire "go to the bathroom by yourself" experience.
Ah, those were the days. Strolling into the John, (which was really clean because I had time to do so) perhaps a book in hand for light reading...just in case.
Being able to quietly roll through the toilet paper, slowly and leisurely wash my hands (with soap that DOESN'T have Nemo on it). No one knocking on the door. Just a nice normal trip to the bathroom.
This is what heading to the bathroom is like for me now.
I will use this morning as an illustration....
Violet is sick. Won't let me put her down. Not for a second. I decided to attempt to set her down and right as I did she anticipated it and went into a full force back flop...hitting her head on the ground in the process. This of course caused more crying than before.
Picked her up and headed to the bathroom with her. I attempt to undo my pants while holding a crying baby AND OF COURSE my mom shorts have two buttons on them today. ( in my defense I didn't anticipate the bathroom/baby juggle). Finally get myself situated sit down with Violet, ON MY LAP, only to have James come in and say "Are you peein?" "Are you poopin". I just say, "Just go on James, go on out." "I need to know, what are you doing mama?" I calmly said, "I'm attempting to go to the bathroom." "Ok, ok" he said and walked away...but was back in half a second armed with the plunger....
He continues his "Are you peein? Poopin?" verse and starts singing it while twirling the plunger, Violet is still crying and to the hyperventilating stage and Maisy shows up at the door, "Mom! You TOLD me we would get colored pencils today. You PROMISED and I want them RIGHT NOW!" Then Wyatt comes by, "Hey, mom. Are we going to the pool? Because you said yesterday we would go to the pool again."
All of this going on in the few minutes I attempted to go to the bathroom.
I can't shut the door anymore...when I do things quickly escalate into crisis level. Lots of knocking ensues....usually followed by screaming and someone getting a black eye.
Of all the things I miss most...it's that bathroom solidarity.
Better go. James just yelled from the bathroom, "MOM! COME LOOK AT THIS! It's a HUGE ONE!"
Oh the joys of parenthood.
Ah, those were the days. Strolling into the John, (which was really clean because I had time to do so) perhaps a book in hand for light reading...just in case.
Being able to quietly roll through the toilet paper, slowly and leisurely wash my hands (with soap that DOESN'T have Nemo on it). No one knocking on the door. Just a nice normal trip to the bathroom.
This is what heading to the bathroom is like for me now.
I will use this morning as an illustration....
Violet is sick. Won't let me put her down. Not for a second. I decided to attempt to set her down and right as I did she anticipated it and went into a full force back flop...hitting her head on the ground in the process. This of course caused more crying than before.
Picked her up and headed to the bathroom with her. I attempt to undo my pants while holding a crying baby AND OF COURSE my mom shorts have two buttons on them today. ( in my defense I didn't anticipate the bathroom/baby juggle). Finally get myself situated sit down with Violet, ON MY LAP, only to have James come in and say "Are you peein?" "Are you poopin". I just say, "Just go on James, go on out." "I need to know, what are you doing mama?" I calmly said, "I'm attempting to go to the bathroom." "Ok, ok" he said and walked away...but was back in half a second armed with the plunger....
He continues his "Are you peein? Poopin?" verse and starts singing it while twirling the plunger, Violet is still crying and to the hyperventilating stage and Maisy shows up at the door, "Mom! You TOLD me we would get colored pencils today. You PROMISED and I want them RIGHT NOW!" Then Wyatt comes by, "Hey, mom. Are we going to the pool? Because you said yesterday we would go to the pool again."
All of this going on in the few minutes I attempted to go to the bathroom.
I can't shut the door anymore...when I do things quickly escalate into crisis level. Lots of knocking ensues....usually followed by screaming and someone getting a black eye.
Of all the things I miss most...it's that bathroom solidarity.
Better go. James just yelled from the bathroom, "MOM! COME LOOK AT THIS! It's a HUGE ONE!"
Oh the joys of parenthood.
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