In which I try breaking and entering...

Chris is working out of town so I have been locking all of the doors at night. I don't normally do that because he's pretty intense and scary and not many people want to face him at any point....let alone in the middle of the night, just woken up, in his underwear. YIKES. It even scares me.

SO, this morning I had Violet all bundled up and ready to go with me to school to drop the big kids off. James was still asleep in the back bedroom, snoring away, and I didn't want to wake him up...so I decided that he would be fine for 5 minutes while I drove 2 blocks to school. I even went so far to put Bella in the bedroom and then shut the door.

"Ok! Let's go guys! Shoes on, coats on, book bags...Wyatt could you shut the door for me?" Shut and Click. "OH crap. That door just locked. Oh well, I will just go in through the garage when we get home."

Violet and I got back home and I realized that my garage door opener was not in the car. It was conveniently in the garage, having been thrown out of the car by Violet. Well that just sucks. Hmmm..what should I do now?
The night before I had locked the screen door that leads to the garage and I NEVER lock that. Crap. That was my way in. So, I sat and pondered. I looked back at Violet and she had pulled her stocking cap down over her face. Which I laughed at and then got the picture, yep...we were going to do it. Breaking and entering. She looked oddly composed and I'm still coming to terms with that.

I remembered that my front porch window was open a little from the Christmas lights, which I still haven't taken down...so I went and opened the window. Violet gave me a thumbs up sign from the car, which is more of a hand in the air but I knew what she was trying to do. I hitched my leg in through the window, cursing these long legs of mine. I mean really. Normally being 5'9 is nice...but not when you're trying to squeeze thru a window. One leg in, I hit my head on the frame. Crap. I attempted to bend down and get my shoulders in and froze. I was stuck. Sigh. I managed to unwind myself and had one leg through, 1 arm through and was basically straddling it and was cussing. A LOT. Then I realized. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? The front porch screen door isn't locked. Just the main house door. CRAP. I did all of that for NOTHING. I could have just gone in through that screen door. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? So, I laughed at myself and went to get Violet. We went into the porch, through the door, and stood at the main door knocking and yelling for James Henry...who of course couldn't hear us because he was in the back bedroom, with the door shut, snoozing away.
After about 15 minutes of knocking and yelling Violet and I started to get a little bit cold. This is when it hit me....the back garage door might be unlocked! Hallelujah! I carried Violet and we ran to the back of the garage. I happily put my door on the handle and it turned...but wouldn't open. It was locked. SHIT. SHIT SHIT!

Now, I have been yelling at Chris to fix this door for quite sometime. The bottom of it is broken...it has a space about a foot wide and a foot tall that our old dog Alice busted through years ago...and since we never really use this door, it tends to get forgotten. I looked at it. I looked at Violet. She looked at me and clapped. I took this as her being game. So, I let her crawl thru the hole. She got in. Looked at me. Clapped, laughed, and then crawled right out. What was I thinking. Like she was going to know what to do when she got in there? Ugh.
SO, I laid down on my back and shimmied my top half in, thank god I had that breast reduction, and was able to reach my hand up and unlock the door. I don't even want to tell you how dirty this made me. Chainsaw oil, dirt, gravel, water...ick. gross. BUT I was able to get us in the house. I walked in and went straight to the back bedroom and there James was, SNORING. He didn't even wake up until like 9! I would have been stuck on the porch for an hour I would have waited on him!

So, anyway. I felt stupid and accomplished at the same time. I am worried about Violet though, she is running around in Wyatt's ski mask looking awfully convincing....

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