Over this break I have spent a lot of quality time with the kids. I have also spent a lot of quality time in the bedroom hiding from my kids...either way, I have heard some hilarious things said by all of them...here are a few.
Wyatt: GET BEHIND ME SATAN!!!! (To Violet...all she wanted was for him to fill up her juice cup...so of course she threw it at him...)
James Henry: Mama, is Winnie the Pooh real?
Me: (I wasn't listening and said) Yes
James Henry: Ok. Then why doesn't he wear pants?
Me: Bears don't wear pants. (now wondering if I had perhaps answered the first question wrong)
James Henry: So, why the shirt then? Why do bears shirts?
Me: Um. This is a question that you should ask your dad. Maybe they lack chest hair?
James Henry: Mama, it's easy. They wear shirts because their formal.
Me: SOunds good.
Maisy: Wyatt, did mom tell you yet that you're adopted?
Wyatt: Yeah, right. Whatever. I'm not adopted. You are.
Maisy: Um. I look just like mom. Who do you look just like?
Wyatt: Iron Man.
Maisy: ?
Wyatt: That's right. Iron Man. Mom used to date hot guys.
James Henry: Mama, are there such things as giant robots?
Me: Well, yes.
James Henry: Oh. Well. I don't want one to kill me.
Wyatt: Mom. I feel so sorry for you. Violet, Dad....I don't know how you do it. You're some kind of an angel.
Wyatt: Is there anyway we could get someone to come over and just take the demon out of her? Please? I'm willing to sell my legos. Why can't we have a normal baby!!???
Maisy: WHO HAS BEEN IN MY MONEY AGAIN!? (three small children slink off...)
Violet: AHOLE! Penis! (ugh...that kid)
James Henry: If a Giant Robot does kill me. Do you think I will come back to life as a tractor?
Maisy: I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERE DEAD! .... I'm hungry...could you make me a snack?
Me: Wyatt clean your room
Wyatt: Ok, but how clean are we talking?
Me: Um. Clean?
Wyatt: Well, there are levels of clean. Are we talking super clean, kinda clean, or hide everything under the bed clean?
Wyatt: Mom! You cleaned my room!
Me: Yes. I couldn't stand it anymore.
Wyatt: Did you clean under my bed?
Me: Are you crazy?
Wyatt: Yeah. No. I don't blame you. I'm kinda afraid to sleep in my bed...I live in fear of the mess that's under there.
James Henry: Mama, are you going to die someday?
Me: Yes.
James Henry: Is Grandpa going to die someday?
Me: yes
James Henry: So, what will happen to me when you die?
Me: Well, you will be all grown up and have a family of your own to take care of.
James Henry: Well, ok but ONLY if my kids don't act like Violet.
Violet: Cry Cry Cry. Whine Whine Whine. A- HOle!
Wyatt: mom! I know what I'm going to be when I grow up?
Me: What?
Wyatt: A professional gamer!
Me: Oh. Cool?
Wyatt: Yes! that means I can stay in my jammies, eat crap, play games..and live with you forever! YES!
Me: Sigh.
I'm ready for school.
Wyatt: GET BEHIND ME SATAN!!!! (To Violet...all she wanted was for him to fill up her juice cup...so of course she threw it at him...)
James Henry: Mama, is Winnie the Pooh real?
Me: (I wasn't listening and said) Yes
James Henry: Ok. Then why doesn't he wear pants?
Me: Bears don't wear pants. (now wondering if I had perhaps answered the first question wrong)
James Henry: So, why the shirt then? Why do bears shirts?
Me: Um. This is a question that you should ask your dad. Maybe they lack chest hair?
James Henry: Mama, it's easy. They wear shirts because their formal.
Me: SOunds good.
Maisy: Wyatt, did mom tell you yet that you're adopted?
Wyatt: Yeah, right. Whatever. I'm not adopted. You are.
Maisy: Um. I look just like mom. Who do you look just like?
Wyatt: Iron Man.
Maisy: ?
Wyatt: That's right. Iron Man. Mom used to date hot guys.
James Henry: Mama, are there such things as giant robots?
Me: Well, yes.
James Henry: Oh. Well. I don't want one to kill me.
Wyatt: Mom. I feel so sorry for you. Violet, Dad....I don't know how you do it. You're some kind of an angel.
Wyatt: Is there anyway we could get someone to come over and just take the demon out of her? Please? I'm willing to sell my legos. Why can't we have a normal baby!!???
Maisy: WHO HAS BEEN IN MY MONEY AGAIN!? (three small children slink off...)
Violet: AHOLE! Penis! (ugh...that kid)
James Henry: If a Giant Robot does kill me. Do you think I will come back to life as a tractor?
Maisy: I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERE DEAD! .... I'm hungry...could you make me a snack?
Me: Wyatt clean your room
Wyatt: Ok, but how clean are we talking?
Me: Um. Clean?
Wyatt: Well, there are levels of clean. Are we talking super clean, kinda clean, or hide everything under the bed clean?
Wyatt: Mom! You cleaned my room!
Me: Yes. I couldn't stand it anymore.
Wyatt: Did you clean under my bed?
Me: Are you crazy?
Wyatt: Yeah. No. I don't blame you. I'm kinda afraid to sleep in my bed...I live in fear of the mess that's under there.
James Henry: Mama, are you going to die someday?
Me: Yes.
James Henry: Is Grandpa going to die someday?
Me: yes
James Henry: So, what will happen to me when you die?
Me: Well, you will be all grown up and have a family of your own to take care of.
James Henry: Well, ok but ONLY if my kids don't act like Violet.
Violet: Cry Cry Cry. Whine Whine Whine. A- HOle!
Wyatt: mom! I know what I'm going to be when I grow up?
Me: What?
Wyatt: A professional gamer!
Me: Oh. Cool?
Wyatt: Yes! that means I can stay in my jammies, eat crap, play games..and live with you forever! YES!
Me: Sigh.
I'm ready for school.
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