When Maisy was 9, well almost 9, I had to give her "the talk", because several boys at school were saying some rather not nice things...and she had questions about those not so nice things. I decided to just get it out of the way and give her the talk right then and there.
It was great! No mortifying moments.
So, Wyatt turned 9 this February and it was his turn for the talk.
Chris refused to do it, and left me in the trenches...alone...and unprepared to give "the talk" to a boy.
First of all, I'm a girl. I do know how boy parts work *thus the 4 children* but I didn't grow up a boy.
I'm from a family of 3 girls. And our talk consisted of "When a man loves a woman very much" (that was our cue to tune out)...
So I was a little nervous about how to approach puberty/sex all that weird boy anatomy stuff in a way that a boy would get it.
I went with my gut and tried gross out humor. It worked. We both laughed a lot, but we got through the talk.
He did tell me that under no circumstance was I ever allowed to use the word "boner" again though, it mortified him to hear me say that.
So, the other day we were going to Target and Maisy started telling us about something that had happened at school. I guess a student had a cell phone in their pocket and it started vibrating (because it was ringing) and one of the little boys in the class said, "It feels really funny when your cell phone vibrates in your pants."
Maisy said that her teacher's face turned bright red, and she put her hands over her face while laughing.
So, Maisy naturally wanted to know why that would be funny.
Wyatt was in the backseat of the van hearing this story and question and starts cracking up. Just hilariously falling all around and giggling. He couldn't take it.
"What's so funny?" Maisy asked him.
I said, "Wyatt do you want me to tell her, or do you?"
Well, he couldn't tell her. He just couldn't stop laughing.
So, I told her. And I used the word boner.
Wyatt instantly sat up in the backseat, no more smiles or laughter, and said "MOM! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO USE THAT WORD AGAIN! MY MOM SHOULD NEVER SAY WORDS LIKE THAT!"
Wow, suddenly I'm Mother Teresa.
We got to Target and went inside, Wyatt immediately took off for the PS3 (which I had told him not to do..under penalty of death), and we lost him. Maisy and I wandered and wandered around forever, and I was getting more and more mad.
Finally he came running up behind us and I turned around and said, "OH! BONER! There you are!" As loud as I could.
: )
He turned green.
"Boner, I told you not to wander off. I can't believe you would do such a thing."
: )
"Ok, Boner. Let's go check out. Oh, hey....Boner....did you say you wanted me to buy you something?"
The looks he gave me. Oh. I should have taken a picture.
We got back into the car and Wyatt said, "Mom, if I promise not to wander off again....will you promise to never ever say that word again?"
So, I of course said, "What word? Boner?"
Then we all started laughing, and he realized how silly he was being over a word.
Sure I lost my Mother Teresa status, but I guess I would rather my son be able to say mortifying things around his mother and be ok with it.
Sometimes being a mom is so much fun!
It was great! No mortifying moments.
So, Wyatt turned 9 this February and it was his turn for the talk.
Chris refused to do it, and left me in the trenches...alone...and unprepared to give "the talk" to a boy.
First of all, I'm a girl. I do know how boy parts work *thus the 4 children* but I didn't grow up a boy.
I'm from a family of 3 girls. And our talk consisted of "When a man loves a woman very much" (that was our cue to tune out)...
So I was a little nervous about how to approach puberty/sex all that weird boy anatomy stuff in a way that a boy would get it.
I went with my gut and tried gross out humor. It worked. We both laughed a lot, but we got through the talk.
He did tell me that under no circumstance was I ever allowed to use the word "boner" again though, it mortified him to hear me say that.
So, the other day we were going to Target and Maisy started telling us about something that had happened at school. I guess a student had a cell phone in their pocket and it started vibrating (because it was ringing) and one of the little boys in the class said, "It feels really funny when your cell phone vibrates in your pants."
Maisy said that her teacher's face turned bright red, and she put her hands over her face while laughing.
So, Maisy naturally wanted to know why that would be funny.
Wyatt was in the backseat of the van hearing this story and question and starts cracking up. Just hilariously falling all around and giggling. He couldn't take it.
"What's so funny?" Maisy asked him.
I said, "Wyatt do you want me to tell her, or do you?"
Well, he couldn't tell her. He just couldn't stop laughing.
So, I told her. And I used the word boner.
Wyatt instantly sat up in the backseat, no more smiles or laughter, and said "MOM! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO USE THAT WORD AGAIN! MY MOM SHOULD NEVER SAY WORDS LIKE THAT!"
Wow, suddenly I'm Mother Teresa.
We got to Target and went inside, Wyatt immediately took off for the PS3 (which I had told him not to do..under penalty of death), and we lost him. Maisy and I wandered and wandered around forever, and I was getting more and more mad.
Finally he came running up behind us and I turned around and said, "OH! BONER! There you are!" As loud as I could.
: )
He turned green.
"Boner, I told you not to wander off. I can't believe you would do such a thing."
: )
"Ok, Boner. Let's go check out. Oh, hey....Boner....did you say you wanted me to buy you something?"
The looks he gave me. Oh. I should have taken a picture.
We got back into the car and Wyatt said, "Mom, if I promise not to wander off again....will you promise to never ever say that word again?"
So, I of course said, "What word? Boner?"
Then we all started laughing, and he realized how silly he was being over a word.
Sure I lost my Mother Teresa status, but I guess I would rather my son be able to say mortifying things around his mother and be ok with it.
Sometimes being a mom is so much fun!
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