Most of the time I blog about how the kids do ridiculous stuff, but once in awhile I like to mix it up and tell some funnies that I have committed lately. I've been a tad bit scatter brained since Grad School started and am guilty of some serious mix-ups, simply because I'm not paying attention half the time.
Here are some examples of my absentmindedness:
Ordered Chris new business cards and put MY phone number on them.
Was not listening to James Henry when he asked me if it would be ok to download Grand Theft Auto on his iPod, so I told him "yeah, sure." Regretted that decision about 2 hours later, especially because he said, "YOU TOLD ME I COULD!" Well, crap. How do you fight that?
Went to school the other day wearing my shirt backwards and two different colors of converse, one red...one green. Very Christmas in February theme.
Took an ambien instead of my allergy medicine, at 7am in the morning, which hit me in the middle of my morning work out. I kept thinking, "Shoot. This work out is TOUGH today. What the heck? I feel so tired." Dumb Ass.
But perhaps the silliest thing I have done lately is think that I had lost feeling in my legs.
We have two dogs at our house. Two dogs who adore me and have voted me Alpha leader (yeah!...). I am constantly followed by these dogs. Bella, the older and stinkier one, knows that she isn't allowed on furniture: she's a Golden Retriever and sheds blonde hair like crazy, and she STINKS. Axel, the young giant puppy, doesn't stink and considers himself a lap dog. So, once in awhile he will jump up on the couch or even our bed.
I'm not fond of sleeping with animals, so the dogs know not to crawl into bed with me very often (unless I'm sick and needy). This means that I have a pet free bed. I have enough kids crawling in and out of bed with me, and sleeping with Chris is a bit of a nightmare..so it's nice not to have any animals in there.
Sunday morning I woke up super early for some weird reason, like at 3am. I think it was possibly because of the nightmare I was having. I was dreaming that I was in a beautiful meadow (picture Allerton meadows) relaxing on a blanket while Hugh Jackman read me a book. Suddenly a giant statue fell down on me, and I was pinned and breathless. I couldn't breath, I couldn't move, and Hugh Jackman was gone.
NIGHTMARE.
I woke up and looked at the clock, which said 3am. I blinked and decided I should get up and get a drink. I went to move, only I couldn't. I could not budge. I tried and tried, but my legs wouldn't work...and my arms were not cooperating either. AND I felt like I couldn't breath.
"Chris, Chris, help me! I think I'm paralyzed."
Only Chris didn't respond.
I turned my head to where he normally sits, and noticed he was gone. He tends to get uncomfortable and go to the living room to sleep in the recliner once in awhile.
I was alone. And paralyzed.
Of course I started thinking of what my life would be like paralyzed. I had visions of Violet painting my eyelids shut with nail polish...
That was enough to put a spark under me, and I willed myself to move. Nothing.
Damn it.
Finally I resorted to screaming.
"Chris, Chris, Chris. Come help! Chris! I'm paralyzed!"
Then Axel licked my face.
He'd been laying directly on top of me.
All 100 pounds of him.
Chris stumbled into our bedroom to see what in the world had gone terribly wrong only to find me laughing.
"I'm sorry! It was the dog! The dog was on me! I thought I had a stroke or something! Isn't that funny?!"
He did not think it was funny.
Stick in the mud.
So, now Axel is sleeping in his crate at night...I don't want him ruining anymore of my Hugh Jackman dreams.
Here are some examples of my absentmindedness:
Ordered Chris new business cards and put MY phone number on them.
Was not listening to James Henry when he asked me if it would be ok to download Grand Theft Auto on his iPod, so I told him "yeah, sure." Regretted that decision about 2 hours later, especially because he said, "YOU TOLD ME I COULD!" Well, crap. How do you fight that?
Went to school the other day wearing my shirt backwards and two different colors of converse, one red...one green. Very Christmas in February theme.
Took an ambien instead of my allergy medicine, at 7am in the morning, which hit me in the middle of my morning work out. I kept thinking, "Shoot. This work out is TOUGH today. What the heck? I feel so tired." Dumb Ass.
But perhaps the silliest thing I have done lately is think that I had lost feeling in my legs.
We have two dogs at our house. Two dogs who adore me and have voted me Alpha leader (yeah!...). I am constantly followed by these dogs. Bella, the older and stinkier one, knows that she isn't allowed on furniture: she's a Golden Retriever and sheds blonde hair like crazy, and she STINKS. Axel, the young giant puppy, doesn't stink and considers himself a lap dog. So, once in awhile he will jump up on the couch or even our bed.
I'm not fond of sleeping with animals, so the dogs know not to crawl into bed with me very often (unless I'm sick and needy). This means that I have a pet free bed. I have enough kids crawling in and out of bed with me, and sleeping with Chris is a bit of a nightmare..so it's nice not to have any animals in there.
Sunday morning I woke up super early for some weird reason, like at 3am. I think it was possibly because of the nightmare I was having. I was dreaming that I was in a beautiful meadow (picture Allerton meadows) relaxing on a blanket while Hugh Jackman read me a book. Suddenly a giant statue fell down on me, and I was pinned and breathless. I couldn't breath, I couldn't move, and Hugh Jackman was gone.
NIGHTMARE.
I woke up and looked at the clock, which said 3am. I blinked and decided I should get up and get a drink. I went to move, only I couldn't. I could not budge. I tried and tried, but my legs wouldn't work...and my arms were not cooperating either. AND I felt like I couldn't breath.
"Chris, Chris, help me! I think I'm paralyzed."
Only Chris didn't respond.
I turned my head to where he normally sits, and noticed he was gone. He tends to get uncomfortable and go to the living room to sleep in the recliner once in awhile.
I was alone. And paralyzed.
Of course I started thinking of what my life would be like paralyzed. I had visions of Violet painting my eyelids shut with nail polish...
That was enough to put a spark under me, and I willed myself to move. Nothing.
Damn it.
Finally I resorted to screaming.
"Chris, Chris, Chris. Come help! Chris! I'm paralyzed!"
Then Axel licked my face.
He'd been laying directly on top of me.
All 100 pounds of him.
Chris stumbled into our bedroom to see what in the world had gone terribly wrong only to find me laughing.
"I'm sorry! It was the dog! The dog was on me! I thought I had a stroke or something! Isn't that funny?!"
He did not think it was funny.
Stick in the mud.
So, now Axel is sleeping in his crate at night...I don't want him ruining anymore of my Hugh Jackman dreams.
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