Have you ever woken up with a red sharpie mustache?
No?
For serious?
Huh.
Well, me either. Until this morning.
Last night was a long night with Violet. The storms didn't wake her, but not long after the storms she did wake up....and it took me awhile to get her back to sleep. And then I was just wide awake. So, I just kind of sat and played games on my phone and goofed off on facebook while I listened to her snore and wondered why it is that I'm not ever allowed more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well, at around 6:30a.m. I fell asleep on the couch. Which is silly because I had already had a cup of coffee and everything - but I guess the caffeine just wasn't enough to keep me going. And before I knew it I was having a wonderful Hugh Jackman dream.
I think I had only been asleep for about 25 minutes when I felt something tickling my face. I kind of just figured it was Axel, so I shook it off. Until I heard little feet run away from me very quickly....while saying, "Uh oh. Sorry."
"Uh oh, sorry." Is never good.
My eyes flared open. I expected to see fresh hell before me. I was certain that Violet had woken up, caught me unaware and destroyed something for fun, but I didn't see any such destruction.
Confused I hollered for Violet, "Hey. You. Violet Barbara Ann, whatcha doin?" and she said, "I'm in time out."
"Well, that's never a good sign." I thought to myself. What kid puts them self in time out? I got up from the couch and walked into her room, and sure enough...there she was in the time out chair.
"I sorry," she managed to muster out.
I looked down at her little hands and she was clutching something that looked like a marker.
Not just any marker....a red sharpie marker.
"Violet? Where did you color this time?"
I asked through gritted teeth, she colored my kitchen walls with a red sharpie last week (WHERE IS SHE FINDING THESE THINGS! I THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL OUT OF MY HOUSE! BANNED!) and now the kitchen has to be re-painted because it won't come off.
She wouldn't answer me. She just hung her head low.
Right then, Wyatt came down the steps and looked at me and screamed.
"OH MY LORD. MOM! WHAT HAPPENED!?"
My hands went to my face, suddenly I remembered that weird tickly feeling I had been having in my sleep.
"What do you mean what happened?"
I asked in a tiny and scared voice. Already knowing very well what had happened.
Wyatt said, "Well, I just want you to know....you're still beautiful and I'll always love you."
That sent me running to the bathroom. And when I flipped the light on and looked at myself, I cried.
Red Sharpie. Red Sharpie mustache. Red sharpie eyebrows. Red sharpie lip liner.
RED, RED, RED.
I saw red.
I screamed.
Violet peeped out of her room and said, "I sorry. I not help myself. I do your make up."
Well, although I was about to go insane and was pretty sure that I would now always look like a demented circus clown, I smiled. I don't think she can help it. She's a force. So, I told her I loved her...and went and dug out the cold cream.
3 hours later my face looked normal.
3 HOURS.
Oh don't you worry, I took a picture....
No?
For serious?
Huh.
Well, me either. Until this morning.
Last night was a long night with Violet. The storms didn't wake her, but not long after the storms she did wake up....and it took me awhile to get her back to sleep. And then I was just wide awake. So, I just kind of sat and played games on my phone and goofed off on facebook while I listened to her snore and wondered why it is that I'm not ever allowed more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well, at around 6:30a.m. I fell asleep on the couch. Which is silly because I had already had a cup of coffee and everything - but I guess the caffeine just wasn't enough to keep me going. And before I knew it I was having a wonderful Hugh Jackman dream.
I think I had only been asleep for about 25 minutes when I felt something tickling my face. I kind of just figured it was Axel, so I shook it off. Until I heard little feet run away from me very quickly....while saying, "Uh oh. Sorry."
"Uh oh, sorry." Is never good.
My eyes flared open. I expected to see fresh hell before me. I was certain that Violet had woken up, caught me unaware and destroyed something for fun, but I didn't see any such destruction.
Confused I hollered for Violet, "Hey. You. Violet Barbara Ann, whatcha doin?" and she said, "I'm in time out."
"Well, that's never a good sign." I thought to myself. What kid puts them self in time out? I got up from the couch and walked into her room, and sure enough...there she was in the time out chair.
"I sorry," she managed to muster out.
I looked down at her little hands and she was clutching something that looked like a marker.
Not just any marker....a red sharpie marker.
"Violet? Where did you color this time?"
I asked through gritted teeth, she colored my kitchen walls with a red sharpie last week (WHERE IS SHE FINDING THESE THINGS! I THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL OUT OF MY HOUSE! BANNED!) and now the kitchen has to be re-painted because it won't come off.
She wouldn't answer me. She just hung her head low.
Right then, Wyatt came down the steps and looked at me and screamed.
"OH MY LORD. MOM! WHAT HAPPENED!?"
My hands went to my face, suddenly I remembered that weird tickly feeling I had been having in my sleep.
"What do you mean what happened?"
I asked in a tiny and scared voice. Already knowing very well what had happened.
Wyatt said, "Well, I just want you to know....you're still beautiful and I'll always love you."
That sent me running to the bathroom. And when I flipped the light on and looked at myself, I cried.
Red Sharpie. Red Sharpie mustache. Red sharpie eyebrows. Red sharpie lip liner.
RED, RED, RED.
I saw red.
I screamed.
Violet peeped out of her room and said, "I sorry. I not help myself. I do your make up."
Well, although I was about to go insane and was pretty sure that I would now always look like a demented circus clown, I smiled. I don't think she can help it. She's a force. So, I told her I loved her...and went and dug out the cold cream.
3 hours later my face looked normal.
3 HOURS.
Oh don't you worry, I took a picture....
So yeah. There's that.
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