I've gotten into biking. It's low impact, fun, and no one has to see me attempt to run (which many of you know is quite hilarious. I've been told I look like a dying antelope, but I digress).
The other day my friend Amanda and I rode ten miles on the bike path, and a little on the roads, here in Creston. It was tough. My mountain bike is not easy to ride on these hills, and I felt like a total loser. Huffing and puffing up what seemed like Mount Everest.
Once the ride was done though, I felt awesome! So GREAT! Exhilirating. I've always enjoyed riding my bike, but never done distance riding before...I guess it's because I'm afraid of spandex. But whatever.
Anyway, today is an overcast and cool day here, a tiny bit muggy but bareable. I decided, "Welp, I could grade homework or go on a ride." The ride won.
It's hard to do distance riding by yourself though, so I thought "I need a partner." My eyes roamed the living room of my house and fell upon Wyatt....my slothish yet comical child.
"Hey, Wyatt," I said in a whisper, so as not to attract Violet's attention. "Go put a comfy tshirt on," he was still in his jammies...at 2:00, "and let's go on a bike ride."
"Okay. Cool. Can I get a soda when we get back" he said, hopefully.
"If you can make it the whole ride without complaining, sure" I said. Not telling him that we would be riding 10 miles.
"Alright. I'm in."
Yeah!
We started out. I chose the least hilly path that I could, which is hard to do in a town full of hills.
"This is fun mom. I'm glad we're doing this. Dad doesn't like to ride bikes much does he."
I replied, "Well, yes and no" thinking, "Not ten miles he doesn't."
When we made it across town, about 2 miles, to where the bike path starts Wyatt said, "Let's race when we get to the path!"
HA. Yeah right. I knew we were in it for the long haul, I was NOT racing. Plus, I just don't get competitive like that.
He smoked me on the first a part of the bike path. I kept my somewhat brisk pace and rode steadily, not wanting to lose all my steam at the beginning of our ride. When we got to the top of the hill, end of the path in-town, he said. "This was great. Let's go back."
"Well, we are going back...but we're taking a different route."
"What kind of a different path?"
"Just one out by the school. Come on."
"You know what, my back hurts I need to sit."
"Why does your back hurt?"
"Not sure. I think I see a tic on my leg. Let's sit down."
"There is no tic, and your back doesn't hurt. Come on. It's just across the parking lot, then we're down hill for a little bit."
"You're a liar. This whole thing feels wrong."
"Me, not lying. It is down hill."
Flashforward four minutes.
"This is not downhill."
"Well, yes it is. It's just that the wind is against us....so it doesn't feel like it."
"Then it doesn't count and you're a vicious liar. I don't like you anymore."
"Oh, you do too. You LOVE me."
"Nope. I'm highly annoyed by you. You've ruined my day."
"I've given you the best day ever! This is great!"
"Shut up and ride your bike, liar."
Once we reached the end of that small path, after about 5 miles, he pulled his bike over in the grass, jumped off and said "Can't. Go. On."
I rolled my eyes, "Oh come on. We have 5 more miles to go."
Daggers shot out of his eyes.
"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? KILL ME?"
"No, I'm trying to get you some exercise."
"I'm TOTALLY FINE with my sedentary lifestyle!"
"Come on. This is fun!"
"This is NOT fun, and you are a vicious liar. I can't trust you anymore. And if we don't stop soon I'm going to poop my pants."
We stopped.
Back on the road again, and we encountered some down hill slopes. "Finally some down hill, now you don't have to live your life as such a liar mom."
"Oh come on, Wyatt. You know you love it."
He just stared at me.
It was then, eight miles into our ride, that I began to seranade him in an operatic tone, purposefully awful.
"Hey Wyatt, I'm going to sing the song that is going on in your mind right now."
He held back a smile.
It went something like this: "I'm having the best day in the world! The best day in all the land! My mother thinks I hate this, but deep deep deep inside of my soul I'm so HAPPY! I could ride for miles and miles. My mother is so wonderful, and I enjoy her so greatly that I am treasuring every minute of this ride. Quite possibly the most fun I will ever have, in the history of fun!"
He didn't like it.
When we got on the outside of town I felt a little forlorn. I had forgotten that this part of the ride was a lot down hill but just as much uphill. WYatt looked ahead and said, "WHAT THE HELL MOM!? You PROMISED down hill! That is CLEARLY not downhill. I can't do this. Can't do it anymore. I'm stopping."
He jumped off the bike, tossed it in the grass and sat down, thumb out to hitch hike.
So dramatic.
I said, "I'm pushing you! You're going to thank me! Come on, you can do it."
"JUST NO."
That last part the was absent of a smile at all.
"Just ride ahead, I'm walking this bike."
I walked with him for a bit, but he was giving me some really nasty looks. SO, I rode on ahead...not too far...just far enough. I stopped to wait on him and two young men drove up in a truck, they looked at me, looked back at Wyatt. I said, "Can't keep up with his mom" they laughed and laughed.
When Wyatt caught up with me, he didn't think that part was so funny.
We finally made it home. He managed to ride the last mile because "I'm going to beat you."
And he did.
When I caught up and pulled into our driveway I said, "What an accomplishment! You should be proud of yourself."
To which he answered, "The only thing I'm proud of is the fact that I didn't kill you. Now, i think I earned that soda."
I wanted to say "Technically NO" since he'd complained the whole time...but I felt sorry for him and treated him anyway.
Now I'm trying to figure out how to trick him into riding with me again.....
The other day my friend Amanda and I rode ten miles on the bike path, and a little on the roads, here in Creston. It was tough. My mountain bike is not easy to ride on these hills, and I felt like a total loser. Huffing and puffing up what seemed like Mount Everest.
Once the ride was done though, I felt awesome! So GREAT! Exhilirating. I've always enjoyed riding my bike, but never done distance riding before...I guess it's because I'm afraid of spandex. But whatever.
Anyway, today is an overcast and cool day here, a tiny bit muggy but bareable. I decided, "Welp, I could grade homework or go on a ride." The ride won.
It's hard to do distance riding by yourself though, so I thought "I need a partner." My eyes roamed the living room of my house and fell upon Wyatt....my slothish yet comical child.
"Hey, Wyatt," I said in a whisper, so as not to attract Violet's attention. "Go put a comfy tshirt on," he was still in his jammies...at 2:00, "and let's go on a bike ride."
"Okay. Cool. Can I get a soda when we get back" he said, hopefully.
"If you can make it the whole ride without complaining, sure" I said. Not telling him that we would be riding 10 miles.
"Alright. I'm in."
Yeah!
We started out. I chose the least hilly path that I could, which is hard to do in a town full of hills.
"This is fun mom. I'm glad we're doing this. Dad doesn't like to ride bikes much does he."
I replied, "Well, yes and no" thinking, "Not ten miles he doesn't."
When we made it across town, about 2 miles, to where the bike path starts Wyatt said, "Let's race when we get to the path!"
HA. Yeah right. I knew we were in it for the long haul, I was NOT racing. Plus, I just don't get competitive like that.
He smoked me on the first a part of the bike path. I kept my somewhat brisk pace and rode steadily, not wanting to lose all my steam at the beginning of our ride. When we got to the top of the hill, end of the path in-town, he said. "This was great. Let's go back."
"Well, we are going back...but we're taking a different route."
"What kind of a different path?"
"Just one out by the school. Come on."
"You know what, my back hurts I need to sit."
"Why does your back hurt?"
"Not sure. I think I see a tic on my leg. Let's sit down."
"There is no tic, and your back doesn't hurt. Come on. It's just across the parking lot, then we're down hill for a little bit."
"You're a liar. This whole thing feels wrong."
"Me, not lying. It is down hill."
Flashforward four minutes.
"This is not downhill."
"Well, yes it is. It's just that the wind is against us....so it doesn't feel like it."
"Then it doesn't count and you're a vicious liar. I don't like you anymore."
"Oh, you do too. You LOVE me."
"Nope. I'm highly annoyed by you. You've ruined my day."
"I've given you the best day ever! This is great!"
"Shut up and ride your bike, liar."
Once we reached the end of that small path, after about 5 miles, he pulled his bike over in the grass, jumped off and said "Can't. Go. On."
I rolled my eyes, "Oh come on. We have 5 more miles to go."
Daggers shot out of his eyes.
"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? KILL ME?"
"No, I'm trying to get you some exercise."
"I'm TOTALLY FINE with my sedentary lifestyle!"
"Come on. This is fun!"
"This is NOT fun, and you are a vicious liar. I can't trust you anymore. And if we don't stop soon I'm going to poop my pants."
We stopped.
Back on the road again, and we encountered some down hill slopes. "Finally some down hill, now you don't have to live your life as such a liar mom."
"Oh come on, Wyatt. You know you love it."
He just stared at me.
It was then, eight miles into our ride, that I began to seranade him in an operatic tone, purposefully awful.
"Hey Wyatt, I'm going to sing the song that is going on in your mind right now."
He held back a smile.
It went something like this: "I'm having the best day in the world! The best day in all the land! My mother thinks I hate this, but deep deep deep inside of my soul I'm so HAPPY! I could ride for miles and miles. My mother is so wonderful, and I enjoy her so greatly that I am treasuring every minute of this ride. Quite possibly the most fun I will ever have, in the history of fun!"
He didn't like it.
When we got on the outside of town I felt a little forlorn. I had forgotten that this part of the ride was a lot down hill but just as much uphill. WYatt looked ahead and said, "WHAT THE HELL MOM!? You PROMISED down hill! That is CLEARLY not downhill. I can't do this. Can't do it anymore. I'm stopping."
He jumped off the bike, tossed it in the grass and sat down, thumb out to hitch hike.
So dramatic.
I said, "I'm pushing you! You're going to thank me! Come on, you can do it."
"JUST NO."
That last part the was absent of a smile at all.
"Just ride ahead, I'm walking this bike."
I walked with him for a bit, but he was giving me some really nasty looks. SO, I rode on ahead...not too far...just far enough. I stopped to wait on him and two young men drove up in a truck, they looked at me, looked back at Wyatt. I said, "Can't keep up with his mom" they laughed and laughed.
When Wyatt caught up with me, he didn't think that part was so funny.
We finally made it home. He managed to ride the last mile because "I'm going to beat you."
And he did.
When I caught up and pulled into our driveway I said, "What an accomplishment! You should be proud of yourself."
To which he answered, "The only thing I'm proud of is the fact that I didn't kill you. Now, i think I earned that soda."
I wanted to say "Technically NO" since he'd complained the whole time...but I felt sorry for him and treated him anyway.
Now I'm trying to figure out how to trick him into riding with me again.....
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